Ep 9 - The Power of a Legacy Letter: How Meaningful Words Shape Generations with Blake Brewer

Blake Brewer: [: 00:00:00

It's not actually as bad as we. Think it is. Um, and sometimes people will say, man, I feel so bad about this one thing. And then they go ask their kids and they're like, I don't even remember that.[00:00:30]

hinson and Eric Wymore. Each [: 00:00:45

Now, your hosts[00:01:00]

guest today, uh, named Blake [: 00:01:15

Eric Wymore: pretty good. Doing well. Glad to be here.

Jeb Graham: Yeah. So, um, so Blake, uh, is, owns a company called, or a nonprofit called The Legacy Letter.

Um, and I had [: 00:01:30

Two financial advisors and, and, and clients of ours, uh, that can, that can, uh, hopefully utilize this thing. Uh, you know, and, and we always talk about Eric and Ethan and I were talking about yesterday. Um, [00:02:00] in our business, you know, we kinda have twofold, right? We're working with clients, so we're doing the numeric aspect of people's financial plans.

, to our business with, with [: 00:02:15

And I think, uh, Blake, you know, just talking to you and your story. Um, I think maybe we can just kind of start on, you know, [00:02:30] what is the legacy letter? What motivated you to do it and, and kind of what's the mission?

Blake Brewer: Yeah. Well thanks for having me on today and partnering with us on this mission. We're on a mission to help a million people write at least one well-written, impactful, lasting legacy letter.

[: 00:02:45

Uh, and so it was, um, a few months later we boarded the plane and the whole family's going. And man, I was so excited. First day, there we go. Uh, so a place called Hama [00:03:15] Bay. And so everybody's on the beach except for me and my dad. And so it's just me and him out in the water and. To be honest, there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be than right there in that moment.

lly good dad. Um, he was not [: 00:03:30

They're in the NFC, they're in the NFC, so we don't hate 'em. Right. Which, which I, I'm not, I'm not a Falcons fan either. I will pull over the chiefs door of the Falcons. But my dad's main claim to fame is that he was Terry Bradshaw's tied in at Louisiana Tech. Nice. And so they were best friends [00:04:00] and roommates.

e out there in the water and [: 00:04:15

My dad and I got separated. I'm trying to look for him. I can't find him anywhere. I, eventually [00:04:30] I see him, I could tell that he was struggling. Um, I swim over there as, as quickly as I can. By the time I reached him, my dad was underneath the water. I. And he was, um, unconscious. And so I dove down. I wrapped my arms around my dad.

I brought him [: 00:04:45

And I'm standing there next to my dad. And I felt completely helpless. And I'm like, I, I did the only thing I knew to do, I just cried out to God, [00:05:15] God, would you please save my dad's life? And I really thought that at any moment my dad was gonna come too. Um, but he never did. And so my dad ended up drowning that day, and it went from one of the best days of my life to the [00:05:30] worst in just a matter of minutes, I'm sitting there next to my dad's body, like, what the heck just happened?

I gonna make it without him? [: 00:05:45

I'm the oldest son, so it was on me. My mom was in no condition to make these calls. We're [00:06:00] just all in shock. I go to the back bedroom. And I'm sitting there on the edge of the bed and, um, my mom appears in the doorway and says, Blake, I found something in your dad's briefcase, something that I know he was gonna give you on this trip.[00:06:15]

n that moment. Um. I felt so [: 00:06:30

And so, uh, I can't imagine my life, um, without this letter in the coming [00:06:45] days. Um, in the coming months and weeks, I've, I never felt so much pain in my life and I was, as I was grieving the loss of my dad and really. There's a lot of ways my life could have gone looking back. Um, there's some [00:07:00] stories and some narratives that we're starting to form as we all do about our life and different tragedies and different things that happened.

od, a victim, um, needing to [: 00:07:15

Uh, and so, um, and I even had some professional counselors like, tell me, Blake, you have grieved this in a very healthy way compared to most people. And I'm like, yeah, it's, it's only 'cause of my dad's letter. Um, and the [00:07:45] darkest mo moment of my life, man, my dad was there for me. Like, he gave me what I needed.

h, he was gonna give you the [: 00:08:00

It was, it's obviously a terrible situation, but it turned it from. I'm gonna go into a dark place to now. I'm gonna go on a mission and, um, you know, maybe talk about that because I, I know when you, when I was watching you, uh, you know, speak a, a few [00:08:30] weeks ago, just the momentum that you have behind this thing, and I, I, I remember just looking around the room.

n the room also was thinking [: 00:08:45

And so maybe talk a little bit about the mission.

years [: 00:09:00

I want to help them be confident and successful and be resilient. All the things that we want to want as a parent. And I see what's going on in the world and some of the, I'll say competition for my voice in their life. And it just kind of hit me like, I gotta write 'em a [00:09:30] letter. Like I gotta get these things into their heart.

dawned on me and I was like, [: 00:09:45

And it was just like an incredible process that made me think about what I wanted to be true of my family, help me know my children on a deeper level. And [00:10:00] there was just a piece that came with having this letter done and then it hit me. It was like, okay, we gotta help more people get a letter like this.

the day that I told my wife, [: 00:10:15

And I was like, yeah. And, um, number [00:10:30] one, I, I believe that God was in it. And I was like, we're about to find out if he's in it. And, uh, and. What you experienced that day where people were like, man, locked in, like, oh yes. Thinking about their family. Okay, I get it. Man, that's for the last five years, I've, [00:10:45] I've been able and had the privilege to speak to, um, hundreds and probably thousands of audiences now.

r families, and they want to [: 00:11:00

Um, and so. We've been guiding people. We created a process to help people write the letter. [00:11:15] Um, 'cause I believe everyone has a letter in their heart. Um, we gotta get that letter outta your heart, to your mind onto a piece of paper, and then ultimately into your loved one's, um, life. And so. Um, a lot of people have written a letter before.

eople I've met actually have [: 00:11:30

And we really try to help people write it in a way that it can be received. Because I tell people like, Hey, you're about to write some amazing stuff here. But if you've got stuff blocking that, like there's a wall [00:12:00] between you and them, well just, this just happens between you and your children and your loved ones.

And so we gotta break down those walls. And so that's why that apology section, uh, is so important. Um,

a organizing it. 'cause I do [: 00:12:15

Get it down. It's, it's hard. And I felt like you did a great job of taking you someone through the process of number one, what's really important to [00:12:30] be in there? Uh, you know, what, what are the important sections, uh, of the letter. And then also really taking each one of those sections and focusing on what you're gonna say in that section.

k about the, the letter as a [: 00:12:45

Blake Brewer: Well, yeah, and it's like a couple years ago we took a family trip out west and went to a national park.

And it's, and we had a guide [: 00:13:00

And so I, [00:13:15] that's all I see myself as just a guide. Mm-hmm. And so I'm guiding you through the process. 'cause I remember one of what I was like when I was looking at the blank sheet of paper, like. Like, what the heck am I gonna write here? Yeah. And so really I'm just trying to guide and then, um, as I'm guiding people are, [00:13:30] are writing and they, you know, they can take a number of different ways, but there's some things that we for sure wanna make sure in that are in this letter.

Yep.

Jeb Graham: And

Blake Brewer: I

sed away. There's, you know, [: 00:13:45

Blake Brewer: Yeah, I, I encourage people to give this letter [00:14:00] as soon as possible. Um, I just say, you know, you brought up the fact my dad was gonna gimme that letter, that way he knew that his 19-year-old son needed those words in his life. And the thing is, I did, and, um, I just remind people, I think we inherently, we know this, like how powerful our [00:14:15] words are in our children's life.

have said, man, I like this [: 00:14:30

And they gave, he put 'em in a, uh, some boxes and put some family [00:14:45] heirlooms in each one. His adult sons like loved reading, how, how much their dad loved him, how proud he was of him. But then as his daughter, 31 years old, young moms, she reads the letter, she goes home night that night and she calls back. Um, she gets, [00:15:00] dad had gone to bed, so she gets mom.

om. It was dad's letter. Um, [: 00:15:15

Because he is always hunting with them and fishing with them and going to sports games, going to chiefs games. They're from Missouri. [00:15:30] And, uh. And she goes, but now I see how much dad really loves this has brought closure into my life. And I talked to her dad and I said, man, did you have any idea that your daughter was having those thoughts?

thoughts. He said, the truth [: 00:15:45

[00:16:00] And the truth is, is we're all telling ourselves a story about how much we love our loved ones, and they're telling themselves a story about how much you love them. And there's just no way This thing is matching up perfectly. And so this legacy letter's about getting the story right, making, leaving nothing to doubt, no, this is how I feel [00:16:15] about you.

pology section, then you got [: 00:16:30

What's the, what's the, what was the third

they understand the depth of [: 00:16:45

And then there's, I'm proud of you, not for what you've done, but for who you are. We live in a performance based society, and so I'm be, you know, we got my kids in sports right now. I may I, and I'm really [00:17:00] trying to help 'em, you know, be the best athlete that they can be. But I'm at risk and we all are. Of, um, making them think that my affirmation, I'm proud of them for, for what they've done.

ple up when they do that to, [: 00:17:15

Jeb Graham: that's super important in this day and age.

eople judge them or, or like [: 00:17:45

Is super important, especially when it's coming from a parent, you know?

ou have, um, adult children, [: 00:18:00

Truth is none of us have done it right and we've all messed up. Um, but it, it's never. Too late, uh, number one. [00:18:15] And also I'll say, I think some of the things we feel shame, um, feel bad about. It's not actually as bad as we think it is. Um, and sometimes people will say, man, I feel so bad about this one thing.

I don't even remember that. [: 00:18:30

Jeb Graham: so can we talk real quick about our, our partnership with you as Metcalf Partners? You know. Uh, a lot of our clients watch the podcast through, um, you know, that we'll send them [00:18:45] out via email.

And so I know we, we've now partnered with the legacy letter and that gives our, our clients the opportunity to go through that process, you know, with, with your organization to, to write these letters. So can we talk a little bit about

Blake Brewer: Yeah. I am so [: 00:19:00

Like we've helped tens of thousands of people equipped 'em to write this letter. And it's only because of great people like you that have come alongside us. And so, um, everything that you saw that day live, we [00:19:15] have it recorded like a, an online course, a MA called the Legacy Letter Masterclass. And so everybody listening today has access to the Legacy Letter Masterclass, um, for free.

sign in and you can get 'em [: 00:19:30

Some, sometimes people break it up and they do it over several weeks. Um, but as I'm talking, you're writing and, uh, and you'll be thinking of things that you wouldn't have thought of on your own. Something will come to your mind. I say, Hey, write it [00:20:00] down. You don't wanna forget it.

Jeb Graham: Nice. I think that's a huge benefit, uh, for sure.

ritten my legacy letter. And [: 00:20:15

And, um, you know, I think what you said earlier is the time to do it is, is right now because you never know. And, um, so I've, I've now got [00:20:30] new motivation and I'm excited to get this thing, this thing done. But you, you know what's funny is, as I've written it because of your workshop and how effective that was.

, just reorganizing it right [: 00:20:45

Blake Brewer: So, so good for you. And that's what I tell people. So take a lot of good notes. Number one, this will help you now that you're going to coming back and finishing it up.

find those notes, like they [: 00:21:00

Yeah. And that doesn't mean that what you've done is in vain. Um, there, for one, there will be a [00:21:30] day that they cherish it for sure. And that's the day they, you die. Um, because they know that nothing else is coming. But also, as soon as you get this letter and these words into their life, the words start working in their life and influencing decisions [00:21:45] that they're making and building their confidence.

And so even though they can't maybe verbally appre communicate it, um, the letter's working. Yeah. Do you have any

year old's gonna [: 00:22:00

Blake Brewer: right?

I mean, to be honest, like. [: 00:22:15

But, um, several months go by and she was starting to butt heads with his wife, you know, how a daughter and a mom can do. And so they had to [00:22:30] discipline her and send her up to her room. Well, she comes back down, uh, a little bit later and her attitude has completely changed. And they're like, man, what happened to her?

utting her to bed, she says, [: 00:22:45

And, and his letter in that moment may have hit her at the, [00:23:00] at the right time.

Jeb Graham: Yeah.

ago in Kansas City, actually [: 00:23:15

He's like, man, I, there's some things I gotta get off my chest and I know they need this. And I think he felt like he was getting close to the end. Mm-hmm. At 99. Yeah. And so, but he did it and [00:23:30] it wasn't easy for him to do it. Like it's not an easy letter to write, like the idea of writing a letter. Oh, that's easy.

hings are busy. Like it's an [: 00:23:45

Having finished. I can't wait for you to experience that, Jeb. And the other thing is

if you do, if you do it one [: 00:24:00

Yeah.

u write it this year, you're [: 00:24:15

Like, I need that advice today. Um, and so I put some memories in there [00:24:30] and so then, and I've written them several letters now and so now I'll write 'em another one in 2025 and, um, we'll always be able to go back and look, Hey, this is, this is how I felt about you in 2025. That's awesome.

might wait a little bit, but.[: 00:24:45

Blake Brewer: Yeah. Well, you can wait to give it, but here's my, yeah, but I would still encourage you to write it. Yeah. I, and I just say this 'cause I, so our fourth child is six months old. This the moment I felt, or we learned that he was in the womb. I started on the letter. [00:25:00] Cool. Um, and then he was born and I've, and then I've finished it up in the hospital.

t did my dad think about me? [: 00:25:15

Jeb Graham: Right.

Blake Brewer: Um, 'cause we all do, it's just like in our nature to wonder like what our parents thought about us and it matters.

Yeah. It matters what they think about us and it matters what we think they think about us. Yeah, definitely.

'm excited. I'm super, super [: 00:25:30

And, um, you know, it's been a lot of fun and, uh, you know, I'm, [00:25:45] I'm not gonna become an Atlanta Falcons fan just because of this. However, uh, I'm glad that you don't hate us 'cause we're Chiefs fans. So

Blake Brewer: I'm actually a Saints fan, number one. Okay. I'm down here in Tulsa, so I do pull for the Chiefs as well. And, uh.

My kids are pulling [: 00:26:00

Jeb Graham: kind of, yeah, it's hard. Well guys, thanks a lot and, uh, this is Metcalf Money Moments Podcast and signing off.

Voiceover: [: 00:26:15

Disclaimer: Jeb Graham, Ethan Hutchinson and Eric Wymore are registered representatives with and securities offered through LPL Financial Member FINRA SI PC Investment [00:26:45] advice offered through W CG Wealth Advisors, a registered investment advisor, W CG Wealth Advisors and Metcalf Partners Wealth Management is AR separate entity entities from LPL Financial.

investments may be suitable [: 00:27:00

All performance referenced is historical and is no guarantee of future. All indices are unmanaged and may invested into.